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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931346">The Ass Parade</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_N_Arielle/pseuds/D_N_Arielle'>D_N_Arielle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sheith Twitter Threads [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ass Fondling, Crack, Fluffy, I'm Sorry, M/M, SHEITH - Freeform, Sort Of, Weird, lite Hance, twitter thread</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:07:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>785</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23931346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_N_Arielle/pseuds/D_N_Arielle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When the Paladins are bored in space anything goes!</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>Keith and Lance argue again...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hunk &amp; Lance (Voltron), Keith &amp; Shiro (Voltron), Keith/Shiro (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sheith Twitter Threads [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678102</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Ass Parade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Short and sweet (?) twitter thread!</p>
<p>Come find me on twitter @kaneki_coffee</p>
<p>Have fun!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Some days the boredom of space managed to wiggle into the depths of the paladins minds. The results were... colourful.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There was that time Hunk set up a cooking talent show, with fake cameras and Coran as the director, somehow Lance won with a soufflé and Shiro almost burned the kitchen to a crisp. Another such event happened when Pidge discovered that they could roll their tongue... which devolved into the strangest flaunting of nearly inhuman oddities the likes which could not be described. Everyone swore never to bring up what Allura had shown them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Then, there was Keith. More specifically, Keith and Lance had been drinking. After one of their more successful coalition meetings, consisting of a gift of some sort of alien alcohol, the blue and red paladins took part since there really wasn't anything else to do.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And that's when it started.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"I bet you *so* hard that I can do it!" Lance took a swig from the bottle and went to stand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Pfft, there is no fucking way..." Keith scoffed, knowing full well Lance was bluffing yet stubborn beyond belief.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What are you guys talking about?" Hunk had wandered into the common room and found his friends arguing. He had assumed it was the same old stuff they always argued about but, boy was he wrong.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hunk! Settle this for us would you?!?! Who out of the paladins could be picked up by the ass?" Lance crosses his arms after asking his question and dared to look smug,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's me right?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Hunk was speechless and for good reason, since that was the dumbest question he'd ever been asked.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"It's not you idiot! It's obviously Shiro!" Keith chimes in with a slurry of words and a hiccup, the alcohol obviously affecting him more than his counterpart.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"He's got the perfect ass to body leverage! It's SCIENCE!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No one in the universe could have explained how, after 15 minutes of this argument, Hunk was standing behind Lance and attempting to pick him up by his ass, Pidge, who had shown up after hearing all the yelling, was now laughing their face off, and Keith was smirking at the failure in front of him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"No dude! You gotta get underneath, UNDERNEATH!" Lance was grumbling and trying to direct his friend while poor Hunk had no clue how he ended up in such a situation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey Lance you should trade and try to pick up Hunk!" Pidge offered helpfully.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Don't help me *please* Pidge!" Hunk whined and shook his head at the thought of Lance trying to pick him up. He shuddered, but not entirely from it being a bad idea.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The doors to the common room swooshed open and in walked Princess Allura, stopping dead in her beautiful tracks, with a very confused Shiro right beside her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"What, praytell, are you doing in here?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>While Hunk and Pidge froze on the spot, one from embarrassment and the other from stifling laughter, Lance was about to answer when Keith beat him to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shiro! Good timing! Come over here and help me win this thing!" The red paladin rushed over and grabbed Shiro by the hand, forcing him into the middle of their little circle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Turn around!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>With absolutely no context, and even less reason not to trust Keith, Shiro did as he was told and turned to face away from those smoldering violet eyes.... Only for gloved hands to grope his butt, take handfuls of that meaty flesh and *LIFT* Shiro into the air.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Keith! Holy- what are you!?!" Shiro was beyond stunned as he tried to keep his balance, not wanting to tip forward and smash his face into the ground, or fall backwards and smash Keith in the nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"See!!!! Suck it Lance!" Keith began to parade Shiro around the common room like some sort of trophy, Allura even clapped at the sight, not entirely sure what was going on but enjoying herself nonetheless.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Damnit! Fiiiiine.... Shiro wins I guess..." Lance grumbled with a pout, earning him a pat on the shoulder and ruffle of his hair from Hunk.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Keith finally puts Shiro down he spins the larger man around and beams up at him with unadulterated pride. Shiro, still having no clue what was happening and flushed red as a beet, stared down in awe at seeing that look on Keith's face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Congratulations Shiro! You won the contest of who can get picked up by the ass!" Keith grinned so widely his face nearly split.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And well, Shiro really didn't mind, if these silly little contests let him get groped by the man of his dreams? He would have to propose more of them in the future~</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>- The End</p>
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